An interesting fitness adventure..

Friday, August 31, 2012

Hey lovelies.

So all in all I consider myself to be pretty open minded when it comes to anything 'fitness' or even dance, even though I am NOT a dancer by any means.

Which is why, when we came across this little Groupon for something on the, ahem, exotic side, we just went for it.

'It' being...

Yep. That's right. Polesque. Emphasis on the 'pole'.

Let me just take you through the night play by play.

-We arrive. Well, we get lost, and show up 10 minutes late to be exact. I'm sorry but who would have thought a place called 'polesque' would be located in an industrial park? Not I.

-My friend Trish comes outside and the first words out of her mouth are. "You made it. By the way, the instructor has on really short (more like nonexistant) shorts. And she really shouldn't."

-We go inside and fill out our waivers. You know, incase something happens to us - on the POLE! Then we meet our instructor. And NO she shouldn't be wearing 'nonexistant' shorts'. (TMI but her butt was literally eating the 'shorts'. And I know alot of people have cellulite, but she was over. the. top.)

-So first we start with some 'sexy' stretching. Our instructor was really awkward the entire time. Not to mention that our class ranged from people in their 20's all the way up to 50's. Nice.

-Then, we proceeded the the pole portion of the class. We learned the 'fireman' aka flailing yourself around the pole. Next came 'pole crunches' where you held on and flailed your legs up in the air.

- I get asked if I have a dance background. Um, not even a little!

-Next, our instructor took off her tank top and did the rest of the routine in her bra. She said, "I love chocolate milk, so I'll never have flat abs. I drink a half gallon a day." Nothing says sexy quite like that.

I am in no way ripping on strippers, if you want to strip, more power to you! But this class sucked. I think our instructor must have been fired from her strip club before opening this joint.

Well, I'm off to practice my 'new moves'. Happy Friday!


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One Response to “An interesting fitness adventure..”

Laura said...

WOW. That is all I have to say!