No I'm NOT talking about a date...
or even a day at the pool...
I, my friends, am talking about my annual female appointment otherwise known as the gyno.
Does anyone else find this annual appointment freaking awkward? I would prob put it off if it wasn't for the fact that I need my BC prescription.
This is my convo with my MALE 60ish year old gyno. What makes this even more strange is that this doctor delivered me when I was born.
Me (in my open front robe - classy): Oh, hello.
Doc: Hi there. Nice to see you again.
Me: Yep. You, too.
Doc: Sooo been anywhere fun this year? (As he lays me back on the exam bench, er, table? This is his 'go-to' line every year I go in for my appointment.)
Me: As a matter of fact, I just got back from Destin. What about you?
Doc: Denver. My daughter lives there. (As he is feeling up my boobs also known as checking for lumps.)
Me: Oh, I've heard Denver was nice. (As I stare up at random things hanging from the ceiling that I guess are there to hold my attention.)
Doc: Alrightyyyy. Scoot on down to the edge & put your feet up.
Enter: Awkward nurse/assistant to observe.
Me: Ok then.
Doc: (Stabbing & poking me with random instruments) You have such nice skin.
Me: (Uhhh skin where? ha) Oh. Thanks. (Joking) I shaved my legs for the occassion.
Doc: (Doesn't really laugh.) Oh, sometimes I have patients that haven't showered in a week, let alone shaved.
Me: Ohhh. Gross.
Does anyone else have these awkward exchanges? Tell me it's not just me!
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