No I'm NOT talking about a date...
or even a day at the pool...
I, my friends, am talking about my annual female appointment otherwise known as the gyno.
Does anyone else find this annual appointment freaking awkward? I would prob put it off if it wasn't for the fact that I need my BC prescription.
This is my convo with my MALE 60ish year old gyno. What makes this even more strange is that this doctor delivered me when I was born.
Me (in my open front robe - classy): Oh, hello.
Doc: Hi there. Nice to see you again.
Me: Yep. You, too.
Doc: Sooo been anywhere fun this year? (As he lays me back on the exam bench, er, table? This is his 'go-to' line every year I go in for my appointment.)
Me: As a matter of fact, I just got back from Destin. What about you?
Doc: Denver. My daughter lives there. (As he is feeling up my boobs also known as checking for lumps.)
Me: Oh, I've heard Denver was nice. (As I stare up at random things hanging from the ceiling that I guess are there to hold my attention.)
Doc: Alrightyyyy. Scoot on down to the edge & put your feet up.
Enter: Awkward nurse/assistant to observe.
Me: Ok then.
Doc: (Stabbing & poking me with random instruments) You have such nice skin.
Me: (Uhhh skin where? ha) Oh. Thanks. (Joking) I shaved my legs for the occassion.
Doc: (Doesn't really laugh.) Oh, sometimes I have patients that haven't showered in a week, let alone shaved.
Me: Ohhh. Gross.
Does anyone else have these awkward exchanges? Tell me it's not just me!
xo
Sam
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3 Responses to “I shaved my legs for the occasion...”
It isn't just you. This made me remember my trip a couple of years ago. I told them I would see the first available doctor (mistake...should have stuck with my usual girl). The guy who came in was seriously in his 70s. He had to be. And it wasn't until he was down between my legs that he exclaimed "You know what...I think I delivered you!" Oh uh what gave it away?
He also knocked and walked in before I was dressed. I said "I'm not dressed!" To which he replied "oh that's okay"
No, sir, it isn't okay.
This is hilarious and just like my, erm, experience, every time. Except mine is a woman in her 50's. She talks about her daughters and how things have been - like cut the small talk and get this over with already! It's awkward enough!!
Bahaha it's awkward no matter what! Last time I had four different people standing there watching the whole appointment. I was mortified!
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